


Hurts like hell

by sanar



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Minor Character Death, emotional angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 06:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11617821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanar/pseuds/sanar
Summary: It has been six months since Alexander’s marriage... Six months of drunken haze in which he drowned all his sorrow and heartbreak in alcohol. Magnus was not new to heartbreak or people leaving him due to his immortality and eccentric self. But Alexander had been a different story.Warning:Lots of hurt and no comfort





	Hurts like hell

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Shadowhunters TV series.

_How can I say this without breaking_  
_How can I say this without taking over_  
_How can I put it down into words_  
_When it's almost too much for my soul alone_

"Hurts Like Hell" by Fleurie 

 

Magnus watched in grief as Ragnor opened the portal to Idris. Catarina was holding his hand, gently offering comfort that he had refused from her for so long.

 

It has been six months since Alexander’s marriage... Six months of drunken haze in which he drowned all his sorrow and heartbreak in alcohol. Magnus was not new to heartbreak or people leaving him due to his immortality and eccentric self. But Alexander had been a different story. He never felt such a strong connection with anyone, regardless how little time Magnus and Alec had shared. Magnus had closed off himself from the world due to hundred years of trauma, pain and heartbreak. But the younger man had broken down his walls and let the light into his heart and soul. Fate had played a cruel joke on him by taking away that light and warmth so quickly from him. 

 

Alec was forced to marry Lydia Branwell so that Isabelle would not be charged with high treason and de-Runed. They had fought heatedly with each other when Alexander had told him about the engagement. Alec looked just as devastated as Magnus felt, but he didn't want to fight when his little sister’s life was on the line. Magnus wanted to think he would understand Alec's situation, but he was hurt far too much and when Alec walked away from him, with tears rolling down his cheeks and heavy breathing, Magnus knew his heart broke into pieces. 

 

But it wasn't their last meeting. 

 

Alec's siblings had sneaked their brother from the Institute after the wedding as a last goodbye as Alec and Lydia had planned to leave for Idris for a while. Their meeting lasted a few minutes, where Alec clung to him, whispering broken string of  _ "I love you" _ s. It happened too fast for Magnus to even wrap his mind around it and before he knew it, Magnus was all alone again. 

 

Afterwards, Magnus gave up his duties as the High Warlock and let Ragnor take charge of New York.  He left his loft, so many memories of Alec, that he couldn't breathe. Magnus found a new place, a tiny apartment, which was too bland and boring. He refused to leave his self-appointed prison and drank himself to unconsciousness every day because in that drunken state of mind he felt the pain lesser.

 

Magnus had pushed everyone in his grief. Catarina, Raphael, Ragnor, Izzy and even Tessa. His beautiful Tessa, who understood him far too well in his current situation. When Ragnor and Catarina sought to console him, Magnus tried to drive them away with his foul attitude and his self-destructive ways. But Ragnor and Catarina had been there with him for centuries and it quickly became a tedious task to push them away.  They checked on him occasionally to ensure he was still alive,  triggering his apartment with magic for any possibility of Magnus hurting himself and taking care of him when he was too sick or drunk. 

 

“Are you ready, Magnus?” Catrina asked interrupting his dark and spiraling thoughts, with concern in her voice. Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breathe.

 

“I don't know” He breathed in, voice breaking at the end. Catarina sniffed and squeezed his hand tightly. The portal was almost done and Magnus could see the blurred outline of Idris. 

 

Magnus was awakened from his drunken haze by a fire message from Isabelle. Ragnor had brought it to him, grief visible in his eyes.  Magnus felt like his whole world was ending when he read the message. His hands shaking and tears fell down, blotching the ink on the paper. 

 

_ ‘Valentine attacked Idris. He had a demon army with him. Idris has fallen and we lost so many.  Max and Lydia are dead. Alec is dying. He got injured by Abaddon. No one in Idris can help him. Please come… I don't want to lose another brother. Please... I'm begging you. _

..................................................................................................................................................................

  
_I loved and I loved and I lost you_

"Hurts Like Hell" by Fleurie 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my lovely beta, Bea who is the best and [ kimmy ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy), for her lovely feed backs. Thank you ladies! ♥ ♥
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos! ♥


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